CELEBRATING FIRSTS

EMBRACING FIRSTS

As a 74 year-old retired forensic psychologist living in the stunning Sonoran Desert with my husband and our playful Goldendoodle, JP, I’ve learned that life is a series of firsts. Recently, I celebrated a significant milestone: my first personal essay was published in late December 2024, in a collection called Nonlinear Love on SubStack. The essay, inspired by a fortune cookie that read, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find Prince Charming,” reflects on how the third time truly was the charm for me in love.

While my recent publication may be a first, my life has been filled with new adventures. I’ve lived in sixteen different states across the U.S. and in Germany for two years. I’ve worked as a secretary for two Major Generals, enlisted in the Army at the age of 32, and pursued my education with passion, earning two Master’s degrees at 50 and starting a doctoral program in Clinical Psychology at 55. 

My journey to find my soulmate was no simple path. After two marriages that didn’t last, I met my true partner at the age of 40. This April, we celebrated 35 blissful years of marriage. Reflecting on my life, I realize that each chapter has been shaped by my willingness to embrace new experiences, even when they seemed daunting or unconventional for someone my age.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that age is just a number and should never be a barrier to pursuing new adventures. Had I allowed my age to dictate my choices, I would have missed out on the rich variety of experiences that have shaped who I am today. It’s crucial to keep pushing forward, to try new things, and to keep life lively, regardless of any minor aches, pains, or setbacks that life throws our way.

Taking on new challenges keeps us from stagnating and helps us live life to the fullest. I encourage everyone, especially those who may feel hesitant due to their age, to step outside their comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to go for the gusto! The worst that can happen? A small, insignificant failure here and there. Trust me, I’ve had my share of failures, from being expelled from a doctoral program to not finishing the U.S. Army Warrant Officer Academy Class after grappling with a childhood affected by complex trauma.

The key is resilience. If something is truly important to you, pick yourself up and start again. Life is too precious to let fear or age hold you back. 

As I continue writing my memoir and reflecting on my past, I am filled with gratitude for every first I’ve experienced. Each new endeavor has added depth to my life, and I look forward to many more firsts in the years to come. So, whether you’re contemplating a new hobby, a career change, or even a new relationship, remember that it’s never too late. Go out there and embrace the adventure that life has to offer! 

Let's celebrate our firsts, no matter how big or small, and inspire each other to keep moving forward. Life is meant to be lived fully—let’s make the most of every moment!